Awaken Your Inner Lie Detector
“How are you not depressed?” Wow, I was wasn’t expecting that question.
Her prior questions were typical “get-to-know-you” banter. She asked, “are you married?” I replied, “no.” Then came, “do you have kids?” Again, I responded, “no.” “Well, at least you have a dog, right?” One more time, all I had to offer was “no.”
Given my flurry of “no” responses, she seemed astounded that one could lack these things without living in a state of depression. To be fair, she didn’t mean any ill intent, but her reaction certainly caught me by surprise and I fumbled to try and find words to justify why my life isn’t miserable. Meanwhile, an all too familiar battle between lies and truth ignited in my mind.
“Is my life incomplete because my story hasn’t followed the cultural norm of marriage and motherhood?”
“Should I be ashamed of my life because I’m single?”
I’ll admit there have been times when I’ve believed the answer to these questions is “yes” and I have muddled through pits of discouragement. But on that day, I was on a “no” roll and I felt a resounding “No, NO, and NOOO!” rise up within me.
Enough already.
To believe these things is to accept lies and Jennifer Rothschild, in her study, Me Myself & Lies, says,
“to accept lies is to reject truth. You must tell your soul to awake to sin and the Enemy. It is sin to believe lies when God equipped you to recognize and receive truth.”
It’s time to wake up. Throughout the New Testament, Paul stresses the importance of renewing our minds and behaviors when we belong to Christ. (Colossians 3:1-4, Romans 8:6, Romans 12:2) Ephesians 4:17-32 was of particular focus for me recently. As I talked through this passage with a mentor, I was struck by verse 25a, “so stop telling lies.” (NLT) In the context of this verse, Paul’s instructing believers to speak truth to others but I believe this is also true on a personal level. If we are called to put off telling lies to others, then why would it be acceptable to continue telling lies to ourselves?
I’m deceiving myself when I believe that my identity and worth is defined by my relationship status or by succeeding or failing against whatever standard is culturally in vogue. Ephesians 4:30 says,
“do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption” (NLT; emphasis added).
My identity and value ultimately rests in belonging to Jesus. Period. And in that I have the greatest thing I could ever need, salvation from sin and death and the promise that He knows me fully and loves me unconditionally and will one day redeem all things and usher me into eternity with Him.
The fight for truth can be hard. Moments still come when I wish my present story looked different, but at the end of the day, I can rest in the assurance that God is the author of my story. He is trustworthy and I never have to feel ashamed by what others may see as lack in my life. He has blessed me far more than I deserve and satisfies my soul to a depth that nothing else in this world can compare. His grace is indeed sufficient so by his Spirit I must persevere in believing Truth.
To anyone reading this who has felt pressure to define yourself by your circumstances and gauge your worth by worldly success. To the one who feels like you’re not enough. I get it. I encourage you to join the fight. Battle the lies. Put your trust in Jesus and then embrace your identity as His child. Only there will you find true hope and joy and relief from trying to live up to a constantly shifting standard of whether you’re complete. The only place our souls will find true wholeness and worth is in Christ.
(Note: I do not use the term depression lightly above. I know it is a real struggle for many and sometimes additional help and resources are needed in the battle to renew thinking. I encourage anyone to seek professional help when needed.)