Blessing in the Wrestling
Recently, I heard a song lyric that cut right through me. I love music and it amazes me how a few phrases set to a melody have the power to speak to my heart in a way that nothing else can. It’s happened on many occasions, but the song that day was by the Christian worship duo Shane & Shane from their Psalms, Vol. 2 album. Psalm 46 (Lord of Hosts) was the name of the song and the lines that stopped me in my tracks were
“God who makes the mountains melt
Come wrestle us and win
Oh God who makes the mountains melt
Come wrestle us and win.”
Wrestling with God is not something new. Rather, it’s something that has been occurring for all of history. Genesis 32 details the account of one epic wrestling match between Jacob and God. Jacob had quite a colorful past marked by deceit and deception. He was so bold as to dishonestly steal the blessing from his father Isaac that his brother Esau had the right to receive as the firstborn son. Many years after fleeing for his life due to Esau’s anger, Jacob was understandably filled with great fear as he prepared to meet his brother again. Alone on the eve of their reunion, Jacob experienced a night like no other as he literally wrestled with God. In the wrestling and in the struggle, God injured Jacob’s hip but Jacob refused to give up until He blessed him. God did bless him and changed his name from Jacob, which implied he was a deceiver, to Israel, which means he strives with God.
While I’ve never experienced anything close to what Jacob physically experienced, I do my fair share of wrestling with God. Wrestling between wanting to understand God’s ways and trusting him with childlike faith. Wrestling between fear and confidence in His promises. Wrestling between wanting control of my life and surrendering to His plans and purposes for me. Sometimes it’s a quick tussle. Other times it’s a long battle and there are things He needs to break in me which can be painful. My initial instinct is to win and have my way. However, I eventually come to realize that I don’t really want to win…at least not on my terms. The things I’m fighting for lose their luster when held up against His promises and blessings and in that moment, everything changes. He wins my heart and I win His peace.
God, I’m so thankful that it’s ok to wrestle with you. You actually invite me to come to you like Jacob, with my fears, doubts, and failures, so together we can wrestle through them and you can change me.
May you always win.