But What If You Don’t Remember?

I love hearing stories of how people come to faith in Jesus. The ways God meets people with the good news of the Gospel and calls them to new life in Christ never ceases to amaze me.

Some folks have a vivid, unforgettable encounter with Jesus that clearly marks their beautiful moment of conversion.

Those stories bring joy to my soul.

But that’s not my story. At least not the unforgettable encounter part. While equally a sinner saved by grace, I can’t tell you the exact moment God awakened me to life in Christ and placed his Spirit within me. (Ephesians 2:1-5, Ezekiel 36:26)

I was a child and while I have a few fuzzy moments I could point to, I don’t recall the day God drew me to himself and I first believed. (John 6:44)

I’ve sometimes wondered, is that ok? Do I need to remember the moment I was saved? 

Author and Bible teacher Jen Wilkin brought this up on an episode of the podcast “Knowing Faith” and she, along with co-hosts Kyle Worley and JT English, spoke into this very question. ¹

Although God uses people in his work to teach and share the Gospel, salvation is ultimately the internal work of God transforming hearts.

“These internal works sometimes are accompanied by a very visible, visceral memory and sometimes they’re not” (Worley). Lack of a memory does not invalidate them. Just as the inability to remember the moment I was physically born does not make me any less alive, the inability to remember the moment I was born again does not make me any less spiritually alive in Christ. (John 3:3-8, Romans 6:11)

Jen Wilkin stressed that this “is an important word for a generation of believers that is heavily reliant on experience to validate pretty much everything. The more important question than when is do you see the fruit? Do you have a desire in your heart that is not natural to us when we’re born in sin? Do you love God? Because the person who has not been transformed internally is profoundly disinterested in those questions.”

I just love how God meet me in my questions!

Even though I can’t name the day, time, and place it happened, I can stand upon my moment of salvation. I know it happened and I do remember outwardly declaring this inward change through baptism as a teenager. When I look at my story, I see a lifelong journey of God continually maturing me in my faith. While I have had, and will continue to have, my share of struggles and challenges, I’ve seen the fruit of my relationship with Christ, a shift in my desires, and an increase in my love for God.

If you share a similar story, I want to encourage you. Thank God that you don’t remember a life before Jesus captured your heart. That’s nothing to take for granted.

Reject the lie of the enemy that lack of a Damascus road conversion undermines the significance of what God has done for you. Any time and any way God plucks someone out of sin and darkness and brings them into the kingdom of light is a BIG deal. (Acts 9:1-22, Colossians 1:12-14)

Whatever our stories, may God give us boldness to share what he has done for us, and may we remember that our testimony is more than just one moment. It’s our entire lives.

“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved.”

Ephesians 2:1-5 NIV

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¹Worley, Kyle et al., hosts. “#175 – Salvation: Calling.” Knowing Faith, Spotify app, 16 Feb. 2023.