It Is Well, Even When It Isn’t

“It’s a good day for ducks.” In my mind, I can still hear these words casually roll off my grandma’s lips when muddling through a rainy day.  Or, when faced with a decision of whether to buy one or two of something, I smile and remember that grandma always said, “if one is good, two is better.”

While these are fun little reminders of her, the greatest things I remember about my grandma were her great faith, generous spirit, and love for her family. She taught me many things over the years but on April 14, 2015 she taught me what it looks like to come to the end of a life lived in faith and because of her faith, she allowed me to experience the very realness of God as he came to bring her home.

After falling due to a massive stroke and large brain hemorrhage, the hospital placed her in hospice care where she remained unresponsive due to significant brain damage.  It was very difficult to see this matriarch of our family in a state of such frailty, growing weaker and weaker as life slowly began to drain from her body. After five days, her breathing had grown extremely labored and her vitals were worsening to the point where we knew her final breath was near.

Family gathered around her in those waning moments and in our waiting, a CD of instrumental hymns played in the background. As we listened to those songs and hung on her every breath, we felt the presence of God with us.

Oh, to have had eyes to see into the spiritual realm inside that hospice room. As we were listening to “We Shall Behold Him,” she was about to. As the Hallelujah chorus proclaimed, “He shall reign forever and ever, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,” could she hear worship around the throne as she stood on the doorstep of heaven?

As the great hymn “It is Well with My Soul” filled the room, even though she could not speak, her soul could confidently sing along and declare “It Is Well” in the face of death.

Because of Jesus, the sting of death was gone.

Yes, tears still fell from my eyes and my heart still ached with grief and sorrow over losing someone I loved so dearly. Yet, even in the pain of loss, there was joy in the fact that her faith had become her sight, hope that I will one day see her again, and praise that God comes near and allows us to experience His presence in the midst of suffering.

As a former pastor of mine said, “the Gospel works!”

Remembering that night serves as an anchor of the reality of God and solid assurance of the truth that because of him, in life and in death, my soul too can sing:

“When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well, with my soul” ~ Horatio Spafford