Lest I Forget…I Have a Voice

I lost my voice.  No, not in the literal sense from a cold or talking too much.  This loss is on a much deeper level. I was recently reminded that several years ago I used to blog.  Honestly, I had forgotten.  I’ve always enjoyed writing. Words I just can’t find when trying to speak come much easier when written. Over the years though, the courage to share my words withered away and because of that, I lost my voice.

Things went silent in 2012.  That was a year of an unforeseen and difficult event that rocked my family.  It was also the start of a long journey that included years of braces, several oral surgeries, and uncertainty of what still lies ahead.  These things, together with paralyzing self-doubt, led me to believe it was best to just seal my lips.  Transparency has never been a strong point and it’s much safer and comfortable to keep quiet and hide behind the walls.

Lately though, I’ve felt a nudge inside that it’s time to stop hiding and start sharing again.  I’ve tried to ignore it because the thought of putting my thoughts out there strikes fear in my heart and ties knots in my stomach. However, it just won’t go away. As said beautifully by Lysa Terkeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and one of my favorite writers/speakers, “every one of us has words inside that were never meant to just rumble about, hidden away.  They are meant to be shared.”

If that’s not enough, Psalm 40:9-10 keeps echoing through my mind. “I proclaim your saving acts in the great assembly; I do not seal my lips, Lord as you know.  I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and your saving help.  I do not conceal your love and your faithfulness from the great assembly.”

So here I am, starting another blog. Who will read it? I don’t know. What will you think? That’s really none of my business.  All I know is that right now, it’s time to unseal my lips.  It’s time to share publicly the work of God in my life and the things He’s teaching me.  Is my life perfect? No. Are His lessons always easy and the way I want to learn? Absolutely not. Do things always work out the way I hope? Of course not. However, I can say with complete confidence that through it all, He is worthy of praise and His love and faithfulness are worth putting on display.