When We’re Weary From Trying To Understand
Over the past year, I’ve had to significantly reduce the amount of news I consume. I used to enjoy starting the day with my favorite morning show and ending the day by catching up on current events. Now, it just makes my heart heavy.
The brokenness of this world is highlighted in nearly every headline. Stories of loss, injustice, dishonesty, evil, hatred, and division have become the norm. Plus, the added burden of trying to decipher what’s truth vs lie, fact vs opinion, and innocence vs manipulation becomes just too much for my brain to process.
I want so badly for this world, not to mention circumstances in my own life, to make sense but the reality is that much of life is spent living in mystery instead of understanding. And sometimes in the blindness and pain of it all, bitterness builds and accusations arise against the God who promises he’s in control.
Maybe you’ve felt the same weariness from trying to understand. The Psalmist Asaph certainly did.
In Psalm 73, his confusion arose from the prosperity and ease he perceived in the lives of the wicked contrasted with the affliction and difficulty he experienced as one striving to remain faithful to the Lord.
In verse 16 he confessed, “but when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task.”
In the frustration and exhaustion of trying to understand, he became envious of others and bitter and brutish toward God. (v 2-3, 21-22) However, Asaph didn’t stay stuck in the mental and emotional anguish of trying to make sense of the circumstances around him.
One action changed everything.
He “went into the sanctuary of God” (v 17a).
The ESV commentary on this verse notes that “when the singer goes into the sanctuary of God, the holy place where God’s people gather for worship, the light is finally allowed to break through.”
Suddenly, the presence of God became far more precious than understanding and worshipping the God who remained continually with him, despite his questions and fist shaking, reoriented his perspective so he could view his situation in the light of eternity. (v 18-20, 23-24, 27)
There in the sanctuary, he also experienced a shift in his desires. The luster of the seemingly perfect lives that previously stirred envy in his soul wore off. His only desire now in all the earth was God. (v 25) Only God could be his strength and portion forever. (v 26)
Worship in the presence of God changed everything for Asaph, and it has the power to change everything for me. When the news I take in leaves my head spinning, I’m so thankful that God has provided a refuge from the weariness of trying to make sense of it all. His presence is with me through the gift of the Holy Spirit and I can ask him to hold my hand, guide me with his Word, strengthen my heart, and fill me with hope that one day he’ll make all things right.
As God reorients my perspective and gives me faith to trust there is a larger narrative at play than what I can see, I’m learning, now more than ever, that I need more of God and less of the world. More of his truth and less of people’s opinions. More worship and less fear. More of his presence and less of my own understanding.
Instead of saying, “but for me it is good to understand it all,” I want to simply say, “but for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge” (v 28a).
